


The Stand-In

by CloakedSparrow



Series: Collected Bat-Family Stories [22]
Category: Batman (Comics), Detective Comics (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Red Robin (Comics), Robin (Comics)
Genre: Adopted Children, Bad Parenting, Bat Family, Batman R.I.P., Dysfunctional Family, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Friendship, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, No Dialogue, No Romance, No Sex, No Smut, One Shot, Sad, Siblings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-17 17:28:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18103109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloakedSparrow/pseuds/CloakedSparrow
Summary: Sometimes Tim felt like Tim Drake was just a stand-in for Robin. A placeholder in the world until the Boy Wonder was called on again. An elaborate cover story that only existed to hide the truth.





	The Stand-In

For some time, pretty much since the Obeah Man poisoned his parents, Tim felt as though he’d been viewing his life from two different perspectives. Always. Sometimes he viewed it as Tim Drake. Sometimes he viewed it as Robin. It was never both. Even when he was with the few people who knew both aspects of his life, they still saw him as Robin first and foremost. 

Tim had thought -after the coma, after the earthquake, after Drake Industries went bankrupt, after Drake Manor was lost- that his father’s sudden desire to bond with him was because he finally saw his family as important. He thought Jack finally valued him as his son. The timing had been inconvenient, because Tim Drake wasn’t getting as much time as Robin by then. But inconvenient wasn’t the same as unwelcome. It didn’t mean the desire to spend some time together wasn’t wanted or returned. 

It had meant plenty of lies, a lot of excuses, quite a few rain-checks, and some distracted father-son time in-between. Tim tried not to think that the only real change from before the coma was the fact that now _he_ was the one telling the lies, making the excuses, handing out rain-checks, and being distracted even when he was around, rather than Jack. He wasn’t sure how he felt when he did. He wasn’t bitter, wasn’t angry. He supposed he was afraid. He’d never wanted to grow up to be his father. 

He didn’t want to grow up to be either of his fathers. 

Because despite knowing it was wrong, that he already had a father. Despite knowing it wasn’t real, that Bruce didn’t see him the same way. Despite knowing it would never be reciprocated, not after Jason. Despite all the reasons he knew why it was only going to lead to trouble, Tim couldn’t help but see Bruce as a father. He couldn’t help but want to make him proud and happy. He couldn’t help but love him. 

He felt bad. All the time. He felt bad when he was with Bruce. He felt bad when he was with Jack. He felt guilty when he was Robin. He felt guilty when he was Tim Drake. 

Actually, he’d thought he felt about as bad as he could. 

But then Jack had decided to try to guilt his son into paying more attention to him. His words had been honest, but unfortunate. He’d told Tim how losing the business they’d built up together and the home they’d shared had made him start thinking of Janet. He said he missed her, missed what they once had. He regretted what they’d become and that he hadn’t had the chance to make it better before he lost her. He said that Tim was all he had left of her and he didn’t want to lose the last part of her he had. 

The words had hurt. But not in the way Jack had intended. 

Because now Tim knew that, no matter which perspective he was looking as his life from, he was still only a stand-in for someone else. 

To Bruce and Alfred, he was a stand-in for the Robin who had come before him. For the child they’d loved and lost. For the boy who’d been taken from them by the violence and chaos they were trying to prevent. 

To the Teen Titans, he was a stand-in for Dick. For the leader they loved and wanted, but who’d outgrown them and struck out on his own. 

To Dick, he was a stand-in for Jason. For the little brother he felt he’d failed. 

To Stephanie, he was a stand-in for the hero she couldn't yet find in herself. 

To Jack, he was stand-in for his mother. The closest thing he’d ever have to having her in his life now. The only connection left through which he might be able to make amends for their soured marriage and the terrible way it had ended. 

Sometimes Tim felt like Tim Drake was just a stand-in for Robin. A placeholder in the world until the Boy Wonder was called on again. An elaborate cover story that only existed to hide the truth. 

So that meant he was even a stand-in to himself. 

He had a reprieve for a short while, when he, Conner, and Bart had started their own team. Conner and Bart hadn’t known any other Robin and they also bore the weight of heroes that had come before. Even still, they were their own heroes. They knew who Tim was and they only ever saw him as just that. It had been the first time Tim ever felt that he truly belonged. That he wasn’t just a stand-in.

But then Young Justice was no more. Conner was gone. Bart was gone. 

Cassie had kissed him, once. He’d pulled back, she’d ran away. He was glad when they didn’t bring it up again. He didn’t want to be a stand-in for Con. He couldn’t.

Then his father was gone. Stephanie was gone. Robin was gone. Deathstroke had successfully created a divide between him and Cassandra. Damian had successfully driven a wedge between him and Dick. Jason… 

After they lost Bruce, they’d basically lost Jason too. The madness he’d managed to keep at bay came back with a vengeance. Vengeance that Jason embraced and reaped across Gotham’s criminal element. One that he’d turned on Tim again. 

That one hurt a lot more than Tim had expected it to.

Bruce wasn’t gone. Well, he _was_ , but not the way his other father and Conner were. Tim might have only been his stand-in Robin and son, but Bruce was still his Batman. He was still his father. 

And now he was all Tim had left.

It turned out Tim was all Bruce had left too, because no one else would even consider that he was alive. No one else would look for him. No one else would fight for him. So Tim looked and fought alone.

In doing so, he became another stand-in. The Red Robin. The _failed_ Robin. The one hardly anyone even knew about or recognized. The one that was just as out of place in this world as he was. 

The suit was too big for him; too heavy. It had been designed for someone else. Someone more.

It was fitting. 

At first, he ignored everyone if they tried to contact him. He didn’t need to be told he was wrong or crazy again. He didn’t need to have to fight the people who should be looking with him. Eventually, they stopped trying to bring him back. 

But they still contacted him for information, for assistance. Apparently, it didn’t matter if he was crazy, or grieving, or depressed, or wrong. Or anything else they told themselves. With Bruce gone, they needed a detective, an informant, a strategist on par with him. They needed a stand-in. Naturally, that part fell to Tim. 

He was used to it. 

He didn’t return. He wouldn’t stop looking for Bruce. However, he answered their questions, found and passed along information, offered assistance. He didn’t see any of them, didn’t come out of the shadows. He became a bodiless voice over their internet, comms, and phones. No one seemed to care.

Considering that he could never pass for Bruce physically, it probably made it easier on them. 

The first time Jason contacted him, Tim had been surprised. He still helped, but he didn’t see his brother. He didn’t want to be called a replacement, didn’t want to hear that he’d never be Batman or a good enough Robin. He made his excuses when Jason tried to start talking about things that had nothing to do with the information he’d needed Tim to find. That became their relationship for a brief while; trading information and not speaking of anything that had passed between them or their family. 

Then, one day, Jason started talking and Tim was too tired to make excuses so he listened. Jason talked about what he’d been up to since leaving Gotham. He didn’t ask Tim what he was doing or try to talk him into going back. Eventually, he got to the reason he’d called and they said their goodbyes. Afterwards, for the first time since he left Gotham, Tim let himself acknowledge how much he missed his big brother.

Whenever Jason contacted Tim after that, he always talked a little first, unless the information he needed was dire. Even then, he always explained that there wasn’t time. Tim didn’t tell him anything that had passed before he left Gotham, but Jason learned that Damian was Robin. Rather than point out that it was only fair Tim get replaced as well, he offered empathy. He also knew that something had happened to drive a wedge between Dick and Tim. He didn’t push Tim to explain, but he reminded him that he knew what it was like to be an outsider, to be mistrusted. He let Tim know he was there if he needed to talk. 

After that, Tim started talking too. He didn’t tell Jason about Bruce. He wasn’t up to being told he was wrong again. Not yet. Not by the one person he could talk to these days. But he told him about his other adventures and concerns. There wasn’t much Jason could do but listen and offer understanding.

It was more than enough. 

He came across Cassandra while working a lead in Asia. They teamed up to help each other out. It was nice, seeing his sister again, fighting by her side. They talked briefly afterwards, but it meant the world to him. It seemed to mean a lot to her as well. Neither of them was going to give up their current quests or return to Gotham. Not yet at least. But they started talking to each other again. 

He made a new suit for her. It was good to see Cassandra wearing the Bat again. It was nicer to feel like they were still family.

Conner had came back. Tim had a hard time accepting it at first. When they were finally face to face again, everything made a little more sense. For a little while, he was just Con’s best friend again. Con believed him when he told him Bruce was alive. He didn’t doubt Con’s goodness, even when he had doubts in himself.

They could each only offer the other a short reprieve, but it was enough to keep Tim going for a while longer. It was enough to reassure Conner. It was enough to remind them that they still had the other, even if their individual missions meant they would be on their own for some time.

But not as long as expected.

Jason wanted to meet up. Tim wanted that too. He missed his brother. He missed his family, even if he knew it would never be the same again. 

When he asked Jason if he minded him using the Red Robin suit, his brother told him he could use it. He even said it was an honor to have him do so. When he told Jason about Bruce, his big brother didn’t tell him he was wrong or suggest his grief was overruling his mind. He just asked what he had. He listened as Tim explained and looked at everything he showed him. 

He believed him. 

He told him he could call if he needed help. He told him he would come. 

When he told Cassandra, she believed him too. She came when he needed help. So did Jason.

Tim helped them when they needed him as well. 

When the time came, he was able to help Bruce too. 

He adjusted the Red Robin suit with Jason’s blessing and Alfred’s help. He made it his own. 

For the first time that he could really remember, he didn’t feel like a stand-in or a placeholder. He didn’t know who he was. Not really. 

He was interested in seeing what he could become when he wasn’t trying to be someone else.

He didn’t expect it to be easy, but he was looking forward to learning to be his own hero.


End file.
